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Mt Eliza
Mount Eliza, VIC 3930
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November 2020
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Martin Green

Dec 01, 2020

Beleura

Dr Martin Woods - National Library Canberra

Dec 08, 2020

Maps

Social evening - Christmas

Dec 15, 2020

Details TBC

View entire list...

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The lessons of Pedro the Fisherman

Ross Schweitzer presents.

Richard Tauber was a World famous [originally DENEMY, and later for a while ERNST SEIFFERT] was a celebrated tenor, light opera singer and actor, both in Germany and later, England. He was born in LINZ, Austria in 1892 and died in London in 1948. Herein lies the hints even Blind Freddie could spot. Tauber was a Jew; not a religion of choice in Austria and Germany [Großdeutschland].

This raises two questions: Why would a Jew [Denemy] change his name to another Jewish name? The reason he was ‘Seiffert’ for a while was a prudent decision in the 1930s. And ‘Seiffert’ is a basic surname in Germany. TAUBER’S choice was as subtle as a meat axe.

Second: The whole World did not regard the song ‘Pedro the Fisherman’ as politically incorrect ..... GHOSTS APPEAR AND FADE AWAY, remember. You do.

Ghosts appear and fade away

Ross Schweitzer presents:

Aristophanes of Byzantium [3 Century B.C.] produced - introduced ‘the period’ a.k.a The Full Stop to denote the quantity of words a man could read aloud without drawing breath. Many decisions were read aloud because some of the masses were illiterate; the rest did know their parents anyway, so it didn’t matter! Since then, other punctuation has evolved; within Europe it is similar [save for the errant apostrophe in English about which I have previously written]. Arabic uses the period. Many Eastern and I include ‘sub - Continent’ languages, in their written form, do not.

Society Perpetuates itself; only the actors change

Ross Schweitzer presents:

I read [sic] that to dance like no - one is watching, love like you really care ... etcetera, should be added:

'talk on the telephone like no - one is listening'. Carolyn Such, I add in my own defence, is always pleasant [See later].*

Whatever next?

Ross Schweitzer presents:

Many cars have 360 degree 'birds - eye' view of themselves as well as self - parking. The 'self' in this case referring to the vehicle, not the driver. Some do require the driver to manipulate the brake and / or accelerator. Other ones do not, and you can abandon the car entirely once you have gotten within the necessary proximity parameters. You should see the looks on 'older folk' [I should talk].

The only 'shortcoming' of the 'birds - eye view' in brother Paul's car is that it doesn't operate when driving faster than walking pace. Short of driving at said speed south on Wurundjeri Way [yet another 'virtue signalling' name by the Council] to enter the Westgate on - ramp, I defy anyone to wind up in the correct lane. Stupidity in road design has triumphed over signage and the ubiquitous GPS. I drove a friend from Boston through it on our way to Williamstown and he is still telling his mates about it back home. Try driving in Boston's downtown area and you'll understand. Trust me.

You can't say that

Ross Schweitzer presents:

Who is the arbiter of what is 'allowed' to be said or written? A professor in Queensland was fired for stating an alternative view to the deterioration of part of The Great Barrier Reef. So there is legislation going to Federal Parliament that will make the expression of non - conforming belief a right. Failure to observe this foundation of teaching will result in the Institution being denied some Federal Funding and be punishable by law.

The Professor did not flat out deny a concept, he stated that it may not be the main cause, and was branded a climate - change denier among other things. His attackers used methods worthy of the Peoples' Democratic Republic of China to hound him. So now legislation regarding funding will be in part tied to the right to speak freely; a right we are supposed to have. If it is not written into the funding, students [including the agitators!] will not get necessary money. Now for the good part.... The Coalition needs two 'One Nation' Senators to pass the legislation.

God [or the devil] is in the detail

Ross Schweitzer presents

Depending on whom you believe, the saying about God / the Devil etcetera can be attributed to Gustave Flaubert [1821 - 1880]. It was meant to express that 'whatever you do should be done properly'. I believe that in learning about historical items, accurate data can be found in Court or Judicial records. The handwritten decision of King James i of England about Guy Fawkes can be read today. The matter is, there's a significant amount of detail relating to the decisions that give us a look at day - to - day life in those times. These are actual records, not recollections.

Ralph the Dog is how Old?

Ralph the Dog is a supernumerary member of our Board. This photo is not of him, as Mike Weber will attest. Once a dog has used your arm as a 'depository' you never mistake it again. The Board Meeting somehow lost its focus....

However never let the facts get in the way of a story. He belongs to Chris and Carolyn Such.

I erred in my email that referenced Dog Year calculation, because I was in a rush...... to meet Alex for coffee.

So, Chris Such being ever helpful, sent me the calculation, for publication.

Don't shoot the messenger. Parsi; thy name is Charity.

We are a fairly benign lot; just trying to raise money for the less fortunate in very difficult times. So, as requested I circulated from our ClubRunner database >200 invitations to a fundraiser, it having universal Club backing. 'Just kick the can along the road and see who comes out to check'. Things are that tight.

Once before, I wrote [as President] about the difference between a-political and non - political. We have enjoyed hosting presentations from several 'politicians'. These events are always well attended and Question Time is robust and polite. Our invitations are sought - after by said speakers. In fact, the incoming Federal Member [Labor] was told by the loser [Liberal] to make certain she got an invitation from RCME.

All 'sides' materially support our Club. I received immediate and very favourable responses [one by telephone from a VicPol - PHF person]. Why doesn't it happen with raffle tickets?

You'll all remember the DG from another District, who although not the Guest Speaker, was invited as a courtesy to greet us? We were then told what was wrong with our Club. Stunned silence and no free glass, I confess.

Well, in my capacity of one off email - sender I received a complaint with opinion from another Club. I'm thinking that any of us who did something similar would be held at the Mercy of our Constitution.

No Good Deed goes unpunished.

.............
I am a little surprised by the content of your email, as I don't believe it is in keeping with the ideals of Rotary.

During my [edit] years as a Rotarian, I have always understood that politics has no place, particularly as it limits the freedoms Rotarians have working within a community, and also the potential to create divisions within a Club.

Whilst the details within your attached flyer are interesting and possibly meaningful to many, I don't believe it is appropriate that I share.

[signed]

What we learn from 'the Law'

Ross Schweitzer presents:

On occasion, circumstances converge that at first sight seem unrelated. Witness President Sue Voss' initiative with 'Visioning' and its concept explanation. Visioning encourages us to develop where we'd imagine, not where we may wind up by default. As was said by Dev Patel 'everything will turn out all right in the end; if it is not all right then clearly you have not reached the end'.

If we buy a plant and leave it un- planted, it will die. Worse, if having planted it, we keep digging it up to check for root growth, it will die. This is known as Ross' First Law of Gardening. There is a basis of precedence, with no need for 'No, but what if...?'

My Second Exhibit, as Happenstance has it, relates to ordering the transportation and taking delivery of ten barrels of ale.

The Eye of the Beholder?

Ross Schweitzer presents:

This week is my son’s birthday, he will be 42, how time flies. More changes have occurred than I can remember and never think about until one pops its head up. Like email in its form, let alone dial – up, which at its inception I needed to have explained. Where did the messages go until you looked at them? Why were they on a low – cost plan when a telephone call to a similar destination cost a heap? And have you seen my brains? You get my point.I saw a cartoon the other day where the Help Line is manned by a nine Year – old. From my own experience with my grandchildren, this is not far off the mark.

I was only following Orders

A little light relief

Ross Schweitzer presents:

One of the methods used by comedians to get a laugh [given you are paying him or her for the entertainment] is to make fun of others’ misfortunes. ‘Vicarious’ experience. Some of the best examples often start off simply; the efforts of an individual to undertake a simple task. 'What could possibly go wrong?'.

Opinions are not Facts

Ross Schweitzer presents:

Flight Cap doesn’t fit our civil rights, Mr Morrison * 1

The Expensive Epidemic of Runaway Stupidity* 2

Shibboleth [noun] a custom, principle, or belief distinguishing a class or group of people, especially a long – standing one regarded as outmoded or no longer important.

Hypocrite [noun] the contrivance of a false appearance of virtue or goodness, while concealing real characteristic traits or inclinations: dissimulation, pretence, or sham.

Dare I mention for our readers who study such matters, there is a significant difference in ‘apolitical’ and ‘non- political’.

The thoughts of Ross Schweitzer

Do you hope to be the last one eaten?

My Good Wife informs me that ’70 per cent of Victorians think our Premier is doing a good job’.

Ross Schweitzer presents

So, this is how it is: stereotypical behaviour

Tak to wyglada: Zachowanie stereotypowe هذه هي الطريقة النمطية: السلوك النمطي

So, this is who I am; And this is all I know Celine Dion 1997

Bespoke Face Protectors

Ros and Eugene Notermans were bespoke tailors and recently retired to South Queensland [that place you can walk around]. They hand made suits and shirts for many State and Federal politicians including our longest - serving Treasurer Peter Costello. Ros and Eugene are long - standing friends of ours, and Ros has taken to tailoring face coverings......

Ross Schweitzer Presents

Fox hunting in Canada. And other exercises in English Language.

A reasonable person may ask is the topic relating to the actions of a humans [or humans] or alternatively the fox. What is the opinion of said le renard, I hear you ask?

What is the opinion of a person who hears a NSW 'Public Servant' state:

A:'some of this data [not these data] are anonomised and I appreciate the fact that the people [?] expect us to de - anonymise it [not these].

B: Allegations were made, yes. We are currently checking just who the alligator is......

[Conclusion: Our Victoria Police are better educated than NSW Police].

Community Service

Ross Schweitzer presents

To attempt to judge the USA by viewing President Trump is akin to judging Australia by seeing Crocodile Dundee. Both are incorrect on two counts; they are stereotypes and second, they are the subject of ‘media’ management.

Ross Schweitzer presents

'Ross Schweitzer presents' is my new column. Editor Jim [and I] believe that le plumier, as a title, has been well and truly plucked.

It will be free of anything you can read elsewhere, or see on the television 'news'. There are always other matters of interest that you never knew you cared about; or for that matter had ever heard of in the first place.

Le Plumier - Stranger than Truth

Presience (n) 1325 - 1375; Middle English < Middle French <Late Latin scientia knowledge, equivalent to scient - (stem of sciéns) present participle of scíre to know + -ia

Participle: an adjective or complement to certain auxiliaries that is regularly derived from the verb in many languages and refers to participation in the action or state of the verb; a verb form used as an adjective. It does not specify a person or number in English, but may have a subject or object, show tense, etc., as burning, in a burning candle, or devoted, as in his devoted friend.

You heard it here first, Biggles.

.....

le plumier

The thoughts of the Feather Duster

I was invited by President Sue [and subsequently Past President Jim Young] to contribute a column to our Bulletin beyond my tenure. It may or may not be weekly, depending on their wishes.

Last night's Changeover from the ZOOM aspect, was a triumph of tenacity over probability. As late as 5:10 PM we were uncertain of success, given the recalcitrance of the WiFi and the flat panel TV at CBs, assistance from three of their staff ...... In addition, the venue with so few people, has the acoustic qualities of a barn.

We knew that the sound quality was lousy, however this is a work in progress. The room is acoustically poor. We are using my $80 camera - sound unit. It's location is trial and error. We will probably be holding hybrid meetings well into the future ... Your understanding and support would be appreciated. No doubt we will perfect it a week before going back to TOORAK. I had the feeling that we were driving along the Great Ocean Road at speed, all the while navigating by utilising in the rear view mirror 😂....

Advice to Sheriffs and Presidents

With apologies to the late Leslie Townes Hope.
The 1948 movie ‘The Paleface’ contained within it prescient advice. Although I was only one Year old, and Rotary Mount Eliza was yet to exist, I should have paid attention. Indeed, I watched the movie more than once.

Norman & Alfie Dachshund were right

Le rapport inaugural de plumeau

From March 13 2020 .....

Alarm was already rife in sections of the media, with ABC resident medical expert Norman Swan predicting 70-80,000 infections within weeks.

"No magic fairy will bring that down. 14-20 days behind Italy. Believe in maths not magic," he would tweet.

Alfie, with a non 70 to 80 - thousand victim. How good are trampolines!

Luckily for Alaylie and Eloise, les petites - filles des plumeaux, the tooth fairy was not quarantined.

President Ross' premature demise.

The neighbours of Prez Ross reported him to the Constabulary for loitering outside his front gate.

In due course, a Rapid Response Team arrived....... read on...

The Eye of the Beholder

Allegory (n.)

A story, poem or picture that can be interpreted to reveal a hidden meaning, typically a moral or political one.

Back in the 1980s a number of vehicle models were released with digital displays. Sales people told the gullible that ‘digital readout is more accurate than analog’. This is demonstrably false; a digital display may be easier to read than an analog one. It can also be more distracting. My vehicle has a choice of two types of analog display and one digital, with each offering a variety of peripheral information and colours. Go figure...

Allegedly (adv.)

Used to convey that something is claimed to be the case or have taken place, although there is no proof.

A friend of mine, a Barrister and Solicitor at an International law firm told me this bon mot: In a court case, opposing counsel stood and addressed the Bench thus:

Several allegations have been made against my client. I demand to know who the alligator [sic.] is.

Sigmund (Sigismund) Freud himself was not always right; ask Martha Bernays. 😂 Well she’s dead too.As is Carl Jung. *

* I concede that John Gilbert may well have been a drinking buddy of these three, long - deceased experts.

Mc Hale's Navy?

Continuing my series of 'Stranger than fiction' articles, this story has been written by one of the senior residents of The Peninsula.

True Stories from WWii: Bob Charlesworth. RAN [ret.] In his own words; as written by his daughter, Dr Avis Ridgway PhD, whom you know as one of our guest speakers.

Now, I'm betting that you think this is a contrived story from a 98 Year - old man; it is not. As you may determine, Bob's memory is beyond reproach. Mind you, with what happened to him, his Navy service is no doubt seared into his memory.

It reminds me of the tale of a psychiatrist who was going to charge $500 to help a sailor overcome his fear of Reds under the Bed. The sailor instead spent $10 and bought a saw from Bunnings.