In the early 1950s a man was caught by police as he was leaving the Bourke Street store of Dunklings the Jeweller.
They discovered that he a handful of necklaces, five expensive watches and four diamond rings in his pocket. The thief had been wandering around the store looking at various pieces of jewellery and slipping them one at a time into the inside pocket of his jacket when no one was looking.
The would be criminal was hauled up before a Judge and he decided to represent himself.
He argued to the Judge that it wasn't his fault. It was his left arm that had committed the crime. It was his left arm that had slipped the jewels, one at a time, into his jacket when the sales attendants were not watching.
The Judge though about this submission and said to himself, "I'll fix this smarty."
The Judge then proceeded to announce his verdict. "I am persuaded by the argument put forward that it is the fault of the left arm. It was such an eloquent and original defence that I accept it. Therefore I find the arm guilty and sentence it to six years hard labour at Pentridge Prison."
The criminal thanked the Judge and walked over to the Bailiff. He took off his jacket and twisted off the arm and handed it over. "It's finally proven to be useful after all the trouble that it has caused me since I lost my real arm during the War!"
In a small country town in the late 1970s, the local amateur theatrical society was having a wonderful year. Each year they endeavoured to put on a play every three months and 1978 had been most successful.
They had started out with Jack Hibberd's play Dimboola. It was a great success.
Three months later Ray Lawler's "Summer of the Seventeenth Doll" was another huge success with people coming from near and far. They played to a pack house every night for a week.
Towards the middle of Spring, The Crucible by American playwright Arthur Miller was also highly successful.
Young Trevor had been the understudy to the lead actor in each of these three productions and he was delighted when the Director announced that the Group would put on Shakespeare's Hamlet as its Christmas Production and that Trevor would play the leading role as the Prince of Denmark.
On the opening night Trevor, who was not inordinately talented, kept muffing line after line and missing his cues.
Moreover he spoke so badly that the audience in the packed local Mechanics Institute Hall could barely hear him. Thus the audience started talking amongst themselves making things even more difficult. Then the crowd started heckling and booing.
Finally it was too much for Trevor who stopped mid sentence. He stared at the sea of faces in the front row and beyond and said, "It's not my fault. I didn't write this rubbish!"
