Greg Hunt. Federal Health Minister. Tuesday 14 April 2020
Likewise SCOMO at his press conference with the Federal Health Minister.. 21 April ‘we must visit the old, sick and those in need of care... ‘
‘asebeia’ Romans 1:18
18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hinder the truth in unrighteousness;
No, it is not from Pulp Fiction [that was Ezekiel 25:17]. Trust me.
Socrates was forced in 399 BC into committing suicide for asebeia. It isthesin of lack of reverence toward the gods recognised by the State of Athens. Now Modern - day blasphemy, or irreverence. A jury of 500 Athenians voted 280 to 220 in favour of Socrates demise. ☠️ He took hemlock.
I remain ‘disappointed’ by our members’ lack of interaction with those in need; both locally and in Gippsland. That’s a matter of record. Often.
I said we should be listening to the Chief Medical Officer. As did District and RI. [See our recent Webinar with Minister Hunt].
I have regularly noted the prevalence of ‘expert’ opinion being circulated [If I get it, I bet you do] as an excuse to pull the covers over our heads. Expert? Like a Physician who graduated 44 Years ago; has worked as a journalist for the ABC since 1982. Ajournalist! He said ‘we’d have eight thousand fatalities, it’s simple arithmetic’. Been a bit quiet recently, that expert. Quelle horreur!
By the way, the good ‘doctor’ was just sprung by The Australian trying to sell ScoMo and his Government some ‘marketing services’. Would he not bulk bill?
The plethora of physicians at Ti Tree, bless ’em. Are more recently qualified.
Lest we all think that I was playing fast and loose with the professional advice I recommended we observe, have a look at what our Minister for Health, he having been elected by greater than 220 assenters, had to say during a 26 - second ‘clip’.
Forward from 13 minutes 44 seconds to 14 minutes:10 seconds
So, please put your hemlock back in the cupboard and go forth! Just like all the other Clubs in our Cluster, and beyond.
I could say, if you follow Greg’s Hunt’s advice, it won’t kill you.
The road up and the road down is still the same road. Herakleitos. Greek philosopher c. 535 BC - 475 BC
Sincerely,
Ross
Da Prez
District Governor Elect Mark Humphries
Rotary International Zone 8 Director elect to speak at the Rotary Club of Mt Eliza.
I am delighted to announce that Dr Jesse Harmon
the incoming Director for Rotary Zone 8, will be the Guest Speaker at our Zoom meeting on Tuesday 5 May
Jesse, from the Rotary Club of Wendouree Breakfast in Ballarat is the first female to become the Director of Rotary Zone 8.
She will replace Rafael Garcia from the Phillipines as Zone 8 representative on the RI Board of Directors.
A past club president and secretary, Jesse was Governor of District 9780 in 2010-11. More recently she has served as Rotary coordinator, project head for the Regional membership Plan for Australia, New Zealand and the Pacific islands. She is also the coordinator for district governors elect training in Australia.
It will be a delight to have Jessie address our meeting and I ask all members to make an effort to attend.
This week's Bulletin is a long one, probably too long.
However you are all asked to read it through. It contains important information that you are asked to act on, some fun and ideas to keep you occupied as we live through the COVID-19 restrictions.
In particular, it is a delight that our Club is alive and well AND NOW MEETING EACH WEEK THROUGH ZOOM.
A total of 32 people attended last evening's Rotary Club of Mt Eliza Zoom meeting - 28 Club Members, our guest speaker, two other guests and a surprise attendee - District Governor Adrian Froggart.
Thanks to Adrian for coming into the meeting and giving us an update on District matters.
I would also like to thank Secretary Rotarian Pauline for all of her work and having to put up with my revised agendas resulting in additional work for her (Ed)
Looking forward to seeing as many members as possible next Tuesday.
Our first guest speaker using our Zoom meeting format was the Federal Member of Parliament for the Dunkley electorate, Peta Murphy.
The Dunkley electorate covers all of the City of Frankston and the northern part of the Mornington Peninsula Shire. The electorate was named after Louisa Dunkley who was a late 19th and early 20th century female activist and labor organiser who achieved equal pay for female telegraphists and post mistresses in 1902.
Peta was elected as a parliamentarian at the last Federal Election on 18 May 2019.
With qualifications in the law, psychology and criminology Peta worked as a tutor, solicitor, barrister and political adviser prior to become an MP.
Peta detailed some of her background and interests and spent much of her time taking us through a broad range of issues arising from the current threat of COVID-19.
Among many matters commented upon, Peta mentioned the threat and spread of the infection, the need for strict controls, constant advice from medical and other health authorities, the cooperation of both major political parties in tackling this insidious disease and in particular the coming together and successful operation of the National Cabinet with leaders from the the Commonwealth and State & Territory Governments.
During her talk and when answering a number of questions Peta demonstrated a depth of knowledge, commitment to people and a keenness to understand Rotary & our Club activities.
In thanking Peta, President Ross indicated that she would be welcomed back at any other times, especially when we have resumed normal meetings and that the gift of a RCME glass would be delivered to her office.
This was our first ZOOM guest speaker. Peta's successful talk shows that we are able to proceed with guest speakers as we continue to meet via Zoom.
Two administrative matters are drawn to the attention of all members.
Firstly, those Rotarians who took chocolates that were distributed back in February are now asked to make payment. The chocolates were $60 per pack and our Fundraising Director Carolyn Such thanks you and would appreciate your early attention to this matter.
Secondly, as has been report at meetings, the COVID-19 restrictions on us holding our normal meetings at Toorak College mean that we are not raising money for the year end hampers for disadvantaged families as organised by Sergeant Trish.
With no fines and no $2 for heads and tails the Board has decided that each member be asked to make one monthly payment of $20 to cover the cost of these and activities, meaning that we will have raised funds for the hampers.
You are asked to make this $20 payment on the first of each month, beginning Friday next week, 1 May.
Payments for both the chocolates and monthly contribution should be made into the Rotary Club of Mt Eliza General Account, BSB 633 000 Account Number 152 498 093.
Your attention to both of these matters is appreciated.
While we are holding Zoom meetings, Heads & Tails will be an individual contest with the winner either receiving a bottle of port or a box of chocolates.
Congratulations to Rotarian Hanne Falkiner who won Heads & Tails at last night's Zoom meeting. Hanne's prize of a box of chocolates will be delivered later today.
Following an initiative of Rotarian John Gilbert & President Ross at our meeting on Tuesday 21 April it was decided unanimously by all in attendance and endorsed by the Board that Malcolm Hull be offered Honorary Membership of the Rotary Club of Mt Eliza.
As has been previously reported in the Bulletin Malcolm has been an outstanding Rotarian with 25 years of dedicated service since joining our Club in 1995. It is a delight to see such a worthy person given great recognition.
Malcolm recently sent an email to the Editor giving thanks for receipt of the Bulletin.
He let me know that he is back in the Freemasons Hospital until 27 April for further treatment and medication. The good news is that the treatment is going well and he is in remission, however he now needs to gradually be eased off the treatment and medication that he has been undergoing.
Malcolm passed on best wishes for Easter and I am sure wishes everyone well as we undergo the COVID-19 self isolation. In return we all wish Malcolm & Beth all the very best.
Our Three Minute Speaker at this week's Rotary Meeting was Rotarian Brendan Hoban who spoke on the topic of COUTA BOATS
These were uniquely Victorian boats fishing for barracouta in southern ocean waters between the 1880s and the 1950s. Caught went to the fish and chip shops of Melbourne before flake (shark) became popular.
You could have a couta boat built for about 58 pounds and it came with three sets of sails and a pair or oars.
Couta boats were between 24 to 30 feet long. They were originally clinker style which later changed to carvel planked construction with moveable centreboards, gunter rigged mailsails and jibs on a downward curving bowstrit.
They were wide beamed boats, (8 feet wide) with 2 foot 6 inch draft. These boats were very seaworthy with decking forward and high coaming around the cockpit and they were mostly manned by two fishermen.
The crew would stand in the stern dressed in oilskins and use hand lines with lures. They would slip catch the barracouta under arm, dehook and toss them over their shoulders into the cockpit.
When the wind was fair, one crew member would sail the boat home while the other cleaned and gutted the catch.
If there was no wind, both crew would row.
When their quota of fish were caught, the fleet would race to be first home, for the best position at the dock and better prices from the South Melbourne fish market buyers.
In 1890s, local yachtsman, Mark Foy took a couta boat to Sydney for racing , however it did poorly.
Mark then consulted with Victorian costa boat skipper Harry Hoppen from Queenscliff. Hoppen replaced the thirteen crew members that Foy had been carrying with fixed ballast and the boat ruled the Sydney Harbour for 3 years in a row.
Couta boats are today the plaything of wealthy yachtsmen, a new one will set you back $250,000.
I’ve built a model couta boat. It cost much less!
My model is 1;12 scale, is radio controlled and has small electric motor driving a propeller. It was built as double plank on frame and, because the wind is not to scale, has an enclosed cockpit to prevent it being swamped when it leans right over.
Building it has kept me sane in these times of pandemic lockdown but I am now frustrated because I cannot sail it!
The Rotary District 9820 Webinar with Federal Health Minister Rotarian Greg Hunt was huge success.
Our District Governor Adrian Froggatt has sent out the following email detailing feedback and how you can watch/ rewatch the webinar.
We have had lots of positive feedback on our Rotary COVID-19 webinar earlier this week with the Federal Health Minister, the Hon Greg Hunt MP.
If you were unable to join us for the webinar, or would like to view again or share then you’ll be pleased to know it was recorded and is available to view by following either directly from this link https://youtu.be/H5h1VqJwAjA or from our District Website www.district9820.org/. To those who were registered you will have already received an email with the link. Sorry for the duplication :)
During the webinar some support contact details were provided which we I have noted below for your information.
Coronavirus Australia app
Download directly from health.gov.au or via your phone or tablet app stores.
Additionally, here in District 9820 we also have the COVID – 19 Rotary Club Guide which we update as significant changes happen. This can be accessed directly by following this link COVID – 19 Rotary Club Guide, or again you can get access from our District Website www.district9820.org/
The Guide contains many links to more information as well as information on COVID-19, operating during this time, and guidance on dealing with anxiety as well as advice for parents and grandparents.
On behalf of all of us here in Rotary District 9820, I wish you, your families, and friends well during this difficult time.
A friend of our President Ross in London sent him the following:
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
BARRISTER: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
BARRISTER: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
BARRISTER: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
BARRISTER: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
BARRISTER: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
BARRISTER: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
BARRISTER: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
BARRISTER: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
BARRISTER: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
BARRISTER: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
BARRISTER: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
BARRISTER: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
BARRISTER: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
BARRISTER: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
BARRISTER: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
BARRISTER: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honour, I think I need a different BARRISTER. Can I get a new BARRISTER?
BARRISTER: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
BARRISTER: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
BARRISTER: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
BARRISTER: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
BARRISTER: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your BARRISTER?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
BARRISTER: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
BARRISTER: ALL your responses must be audible, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Audible...
BARRISTER: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
BARRISTER: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
BARRISTER: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
And last:
BARRISTER: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
BARRISTER: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
BARRISTER: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
BARRISTER: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
BARRISTER: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
BARRISTER: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
A person enters the gold soukh in Dubai. He is offered a stack of ten gold ingots at a bargain price. He is asked to select one stack from ten outwardly identical stacks. Stack 1, Stack 2, and so on.
The individual ingots in each stack of ten are reputed to weigh precisely 100 grams.
He secretly knows that one of these stacks of ten ingots is in fact comprised entirely of fake gold. These artificial gold ingots each weigh 98 grams.
The merchant says, in an attempt to beguile the buyer: ‘Why not weigh it? You choose which gold, but only weigh your choice once. I have a certified weighing scale. Its capacity is precisely 6 kg.
So the man has but one attempt to avoid taking the fake stack. He is otherwise not allowed to handle the product. Accepting the risk, he is successful.
The question is: How did he, in one attempt, determine which was the fake stack of ingots?
The Prize is a bottle of wine, compliments of Da Prez. First correct answer to the Editor wins.
President Ross received the following letter from our Treasurer Chris Angerer
Hi Ross,
The Webinar with Greg Hunt, Federal health minister was in my eyes an outstanding success and a great promotion for Rotary.
It presented a format that can evolve and be an example for meetings, and functions in theses time.
I was particularly surprised, that Greg obviously picked up cues from your ideas on how Rotary can work with the current challenges.
Obviously you have direct channels to the highest echelons of Australian politics and power.
Your suggestions of helping older members of our community with shopping and appointments as well as contacting the more isolated for a regular chat, were endorsed and fully supported by our honourable minister.
Following a decision of the RME Board, President Ross asked Fund-raising Director Carolyn and Community Director Linda to deliver 240 chocolate frogs to Frankston Hospital.
In this photo, Linda and Carolyn presented the frogs to Trish O'Neil, Peninsula Health Operations Manager.
President Ross has come across the following article that is quite humorous and interesting:
Like everyone, appearing smart during meetings is my top priority. Sometimes this can be difficult if you start daydreaming about your next vacation, your next nap, or bacon. When this happens, it’s good to have some fallback tricks to fall back on. Here are my ten favorite tricks for quickly appearing smart during meetings.
1. Draw a Venn diagram
Getting up and drawing a Venn diagram is a great way to appear smart. It doesn’t matter if your Venn diagram is wildly inaccurate, in fact, the more inaccurate the better. Even before you’ve put that marker down, your colleagues will begin fighting about what exactly the labels should be and how big the circles should be, etc. At this point, you can slink back to your chair and go back to playing Candy Crush on your phone.
2. Translate percentage metrics into fractions
If someone says “About 25% of all users click on this button,” quickly chime in with, “So about 1 in 4,” and make a note of it. Everyone will nod their head in agreement, secretly impressed and envious of your quick math skills.
3. Encourage everyone to “take a step back”
There comes a point in most meetings where everyone is chiming in, except you. Opinions and data and milestones are being thrown around and you don’t know your CTA from your OTA. This is a great point to go, “Guys, guys, guys, can we take a step back here?” Everyone will turn their heads toward you, amazed at your ability to silence the fray. Follow it up with a quick, “What problem are we really trying to solve?” and, boom! You’ve bought yourself another hour of looking smart.
4. Nod continuously while pretending to take notes
Always bring a notepad with you. Your rejection of technology will be revered. Take notes by simply writing down one word from every sentence that you hear. Nod continuously while doing so. If someone asks you if you’re taking notes, quickly say that these are your own personal notes and that someone else should really be keeping a record of the meeting. Bravo compadre. You’ve saved your ass, and you’ve gotten out of doing any extra work. Or any work at all, if you’re truly succeeding.
5. Repeat the last thing the engineer said, but very very slowly
Make a mental note of the engineer in the room. Remember his name. He’ll be quiet throughout most of the meeting, but when his moment comes everything out of his mouth will spring from a place of unknowable brilliance. After he utters these divine words, chime in with, “Let me just repeat that,” and repeat exactly what he just said, but very, very slowly. Now, his brilliance has been transferred to you. People will look back on the meeting and mistakenly attribute the intelligent statement to you.
6. Ask “Will this scale?” no matter what it is
It’s important to find out if things will scale no matter what it is you’re discussing. No one even really knows what that means, but it’s a good catch-all question that generally applies and drives engineers nuts.
7. Pace around the room
Whenever someone gets up from the table and walks around, don’t you immediately respect them? I know I do. It takes a lot of guts but once you do it, you immediately appear smart. Fold your arms. Walk around. Go to the corner and lean against the wall. Take a deep, contemplative sigh. Trust me, everyone will be shitting their pants wondering what you’re thinking. If only they knew (bacon).
8. Ask the presenter to go back a slide
“Sorry, could you go back a slide?” They’re the seven words no presenter wants to hear. It doesn’t matter where in the presentation you shout this out, it’ll immediately make you look like you’re paying closer attention than everyone else is, because clearly they missed the thing that you’re about to brilliantly point out. Don’t have anything to point out? Just say something like, “I’m not sure what these numbers mean,” and sit back. You’ve bought yourself almost an entire meeting of appearing smart.
9. Step out for a phone call
You’re probably afraid to step out of the room because you fear people will think you aren’t making the meeting a priority. Interestingly, however, if you step out of a meeting for an “important” phone call, they’ll all realize just how busy and important you are. They’ll say, “Wow, this meeting is important, so if he has something even more important than this, well, we better not bother him.”
10. Make fun of yourself
If someone asks what you think, and you honestly didn’t hear a single word anyone said for the last hour, just say, “I honestly didn’t hear a single word anyone said for the last hour.” People love self-deprecating humor. Say things like, “Maybe we can just use the lawyers from my divorce,” or “God I wish I was dead.” They’ll laugh, value your honesty, consider contacting H.R., but most importantly, think you’re the smartest looking person in the room.
One year an old sugar can farmer in Northern Queensland who lived by himself made a large profit following a bumper harvest.
He decided to spend some of the money improving his property and allowing him to enjoy some relaxing times.
So he had a contractor dig a very large pond near the side fence of his property. He had some landscaping done with a lovely lawn area, some picnic tables and a delightful flower garden.
The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
Having been away for several weeks the farmer arrived home one afternoon and he decided to go down to the pond as he hadn't been there for a while.
As he approached the pond he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer he saw a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond.
One of the women shouted out to him, "We're not coming out until you leave.!"
The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or to make you get out of the pond naked. I only ate down to feed the crocodile!"
Moral of this story: Old age and treachery triumphs over youth and inexperience ...
The grandchildren of an extremely old woman could no longer care for her.
Both of them were working and they felt that they couldn't leave their 103 year old grandmother alone all day.
They arranged for her to be placed in a nursing home, hoping that she would be well looked after.
The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast and set her down in a chair at a window overlooking a beautiful flower garden.
She seem to be all right, however after a while she slowly started to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up.
Again she seemed to be okay, but after a while she started to tilt to the other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright.
This went on all day.
Late in the afternoon her grandchildren arrived to see how she was adjusting to his new home.
"So, Granny, how is it here? Are they treating you well?"
"I must say, it is pretty nice", she replied, "except they won't let you break wind!"
Two very elderly chaps, both in their late 90s, were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The light was red but they just went on straight through.
Old George in the passenger seat thought to himself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn that we just drove through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection, the light was red and they went straight through.
George was almost certain that they had driven through another red light and he decided to concentrate very carefully.
By this time George was very nervous and paying close attention he saw at the next intersection that they went right across against another red light.
"Bill", he screamed out, "Do you realise that you have just driven through three red lights in a row. You could have killed us!"
Bill, turned to George and said, "What, am I driving?"
Miss Jones, the church organist was 99 years old and about to celebrate her milestone birthday. A celebratory letter from the Queen had been organised by her local MP.
She was much admired by the members of the congregation for her kindness, innocence, religious devotion and prim and proper views.
The local vicar came to visit her and talk about the arrangements that the church was making to celebrate her 100th birthday.
She invited him in her quaint sitting room and asked him to take seat while she went to the kitchen to made a cup of tea and scones.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water and floating in the liquid was a condom.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity, but it soon got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
"Miss Jones, I wonder if you could tell me about this?" he said pointing to the bowl.
"Oh yes", she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the village several months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. And, do you know, I haven't had a cold all winter!"
Two Mexican police are investigating the murder of a local Juan Rodriguez.
Selina turned to her partner and asked, "So what do you think?"
To which her partner Carlos, replied, "I think that he was shot be a golf gun."
Selina said, "I've never heard of a golf gun before."
To which Carlos replied, "Well, it sure made a hole in Juan!"
The answers to last week's Five Question Quiz were:
1. In which play does Lady Bracknell famously say, "A handbag?" A The Real Inspector Hound B The Cherry Orchard C Abigail's Party D The Importance of Being Earnest
2. The Hayabusa is a sports motorcycle produced by which manufacturer? A Honda B Yamaha C Kawasaki D Suzuki
3. According to tradition, where should the guest of honour be seated at a dinner party? A Opposite the host B Next to the host C At the head of the table D At the foot of the table
4. Which Shakespearean character was Prince of Tyre? A Hamlet B Pericles D Coriolanus D Lago
5. Which cocktail contains tequila, triple sec and lime juice? A Martini B Mojito C Margarita D Manhattan
This weeks five questions are:
1. Who famously said (before COVID-19) "I don't have dinner parties - I eat my dinner in bed"? A Zsa Zsa Gabor B Miss Piggy C Hugh Hefner D Donald Trump
2.How many squares are there in a single row of a Scrabble Board? A 15 B 20 C 12 D 18
3. Who said "hear no evil, speak no evil ... and you'll never be invited to a party"? A Neil Simon B Patrick White C Oscar Wilde D Alan Bennett
4. How many tines does a fondue fork usually have? A 1 B 3 C 4 D 2
5. In which country did the after dinner game of charades first evolve? A England B Scotland C France D Spain
