The Rotary Club of
Mount Eliza
Chartered 1971
Club Information
Mount Eliza
Service Above Self
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
Mt Eliza
Mount Eliza, VIC 3930
0419 386 900
Zoom Meeting Conference Number 826504424487
District Site
Venue Map
Sep 08, 2020
Nutrition and Mental Health
Sep 15, 2020
Club Visioning
Sep 22, 2020
Palliative Care/ Advanced Care/ Assisted Dying
Sep 29, 2020
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Meeting Responsibilities
Meeting Responsibilities September 8
Edwards, Bernie
Three Minute Speaker
Margalit, Kerry
Meeting Responsibilities September 15
Voss, Sue
Meeting Responsibilities September 22
Rew, David
Three Minute Speaker
Morris, Linda
ClubRunner Mobile
President's Message
Sue Voss
member photo
Hi everybody
This week we have our official visit from Mark Humphries, Governor of Rotary District 9820.
Of course, we have the benefit of Mark's attendance at most of our meetings as he and Linda are members of our Club.
In light of Mark's visit, I thought it worthwhile to look at the role of the District Governor.
It takes a special Rotarian with a huge commitment to take on the role of the DG.
District governors provide leadership, motivation, and guidance to Rotary clubs under the general supervision of the RI Board of Directors. Governors act as officers of RI, fostering achievement in their district at the club level. 

Under the District Leadership Plan, District Governors prepare for and execute their duties over a three-year period. 

Districts nominate Governors 24-36 months before they take office. Governors-nominee are elected at the RI Convention and serve as Governors-elect for 12 months prior to taking office. 

In taking on the role of DG, there are key responsibilities required:

  • During the 12-24 months prior to taking office, Governors-nominee analyze the District's strengths and weaknesses
  • Review the District's organisation and club administrative framework (club leadership plan)     
  • Attend District meetings and participate in District committees 
  • Select a site for the district conference 

During the 12 months prior to taking office, Governors-elect:

  • Undertake training for the DG role
  • Set annual District goals 
  • Conduct District meetings, including the District team training seminar, Presidents-elect Training Seminar (PETS) , and District assembly 
  • Plan the District Conference

During their term of service, Governors:

  • Strengthen existing Rotary clubs, organise new clubs, and promote membership growth 
  • Issue a monthly newsletter to Clubs, Presidents and Secretaries in the District 
  • Support The Rotary Foundation and serve as a District and RI spokesperson, where appropriate 
  • Hold a District Conference and other District meetings 
  • Ensure that District nominations and elections are conducted in accordance with the RI Constitution and Bylaws and established policies of RI 
COVID-19 has made the role of the District Governor even more challenging. Past DG Adrian Froggett had to cancel his District Conference and could not attend all Clubs in person.
This Rotary Year Mark has faced similar challenges. However he has been able to introduce a series of fireside chat meetings and he has already attended many Club meetings via Zoom.
The original multi-District Conference on a cruise liner has been cancelled. In spite of this Mark has been able to make great progress in the first couple of months in this Rotary Year.
All Club members are asked to assist make the 2020/21 a great Rotary year by participating in and assisting with District activities, wherever appropriate.
It was great to have Mark's official visit this week.
Separately, a quick reminder - our Visioning Session is on Tuesday 15 September.
Finally, some good news. I have had follow up discussions with our two young speakers from 18 August - Colette McCarthy and Jacquie Sherlock. Both are very interested in being involved in a Satellite Club.  
Until next time
Yours in Rotary
District Governor Mark Humphries and Past President Linda Humphries
Greetings to all Rotarian members at Mt Eliza and other readers of this Bulletin.
It was a delight to attend my home Club this week as part of my Official DG duties. I must congratulate President Sue and the Mt Eliza members for the fantastic way that Zoom has been embraced.
A number of Rotary publications have been outlining many innovative ways that members can still fundraise during these COVID-19 times and I thought that I would pass on some of the Zone 8 suggestions. 

With Bunnings Barbecues and Rotary Golf Days on hold due to Coronavirus, most Clubs are finding their ability to support projects has been severely hampered because their regular fundraising activities have either been postponed or cancelled. No money in means no money out! 

However, Rotarians are nothing if not innovative and Rotary Zone 8 is hearing of a number of novel ways that clubs are using to raise money.

These are just some that have been arranged thus far that other Rotarians might like to consider: 

• Holding an on-line Trivia Night. 

• Donating the money that members have saved by not having to pay for the meal they would be having during their usual face-to-face meeting 

• Tap to Donate machine—Organise to have a Point of Sale “Tap to Donate” machine at the check-out counter or registration desk of a local Licensed club or Hotel 

• Holding an on-line Silent Auction of various items - bric-a-brac, donated wine, painting or other piece of art

• Holding a Virtual “Pooch Parade” where people pay a small fee to enter their dog in various categories.

• Setting up a sewing group and sewing Rotary face masks which can be sold/donated (check with the Rotary Brand Centre for design requirements!). 

Rotarians across District 9820 are currently looking at a number of ways to keep fundraising going during these difficult times and these will be shared in future editions of the District Newsletter.

Until next time
Warm regards
Mark & Linda
Trish Arranges Hampers
Members will be very pleased to hear that Heads & Tails monies collected over the last Rotary Year have been used to deliver hampers to needy families through Kunyung Primary School.
Rotarian Trish Stamp made all the arrangements and delivered the hampers last Friday, 28 August.
The hampers contained a $25 Woolworths voucher to buy staples like dairy and vegetables. In addition, for each hamper, Jeff from Smokers Butchers gave Trish a $70 voucher at a discounted price of $50. It would be good if Rotarians in attendance at Smokers could thank Jeff.
Trish is now waiting to hear from Mt Eliza Primary School as to the need for hampers, as appropriate.
It is great to see that a fun activity such as Heads & Tails can generate such positive outcomes. 
I was only following Orders
Ross Schweitzer presents:
We have developed a new Unit of Measure: A British Standard Screen Full. It relates to Birthday Presents and applies when visiting is grandchildren not permitted. There is a variable, as expressed by the equation:
P(t) Where (t) equates to the total number of presents. 
P(1) Where (1) equates to the presents received on the actual Birthday.
P(z) Where (z) equates to the presents received on the Zoom Day.
P(o) Where (o) equates to the number of presents ordered.
P(3) where (c) equates to the presents bought in store.
P(d) where (d) equates to the ordered presents that were delivered on time.
P(l) where (l) equates to the ordered presents not arrived.
P(n) where (e) equates to presents received at other locations.
P(p) where (p) equates to presents kept until a visit is possible.
P(x) where (x) equates to presents later spontaneously added by the grandparent/s. 😂

P(t)= P2-P1+Pz-Po-P3Pd+Pl+Pn+Pp+Px
NB: With values Pp and Px, Units of Gift are random upward numbers. 
You may choose to use this formula. The variable is this: Buying yourself a new large screen TV may not increase the number of presents, only the visibility of said items in HD.
My friends (?) in the Czech Republic likewise vouch for Grandparents’ Rights [Práva prarodičů] and dismiss the complaints of their son or daughter vždy to tak bylo it was ever thus. The Czechs are knowledgeable, wise, and stoic people. Somewhat like the Good Citizens of Bayern or Bloemfontein; but with a sense of humour.
But I digress:
Herr Angerer sent me an email. Addressed to me and not on the presumption that I am Secretary. I responded, in part, ‘Look, you didn’t send a write receipt with your email. As Past Secretary I need to point this out’. Yesterday I sent out my ‘if you do not get this email let me know’ to a person  who insisted that they were not getting our Bulletin. They replied! How is this possible I hear you ask? [I had sent my email to the ‘other’ address. I had obtained it via my spies]. There is also an error in the spelling of this person’s street, I add. Herr Gilbert has written it. I will not be telling him; he is 89 and the shock will be too great.
The Club knew, prior to President Edwards, that Google ‘loses’ mail. It was attested many Moons ago to me. The Member said, ‘everyone knows that I used Microsoft’. The problem was not ‘everyone’ knew. It was not passed on to the Incoming Secretary. I made it my task to utilise the ClubRunner platform. It is near impossible to ‘hack’ and provides immediate connectivity to the Rotary World, not just the Mount Eliza Bubble.
Where there is a random error, and ‘people’ say they did not get something, they handily presume the error is with the sender. Mostly wrong, trust me. In addition, [not only Rotarians] who say that they did not receive a message, mostly never fess up that they in fact did. I did not read the second sentence / I have not looked at my messages! [this was said to me, really]. The cat ate it.
Chris, being an astute counsellor, said that it is never their fault. Try as I may, including adopting a really short haircut, with matching toothbrush moustache, wearing my Bamberg hat, a leather jacket and driving a black Mercedes Cabriolet with the top always down, I’m still being accused of actually being the Secret Secretary. ClubRunner has a single, unduplicated Data Base. There is no secret / separate list for any category. None. If you are not on it, you will not appear on attendance, Membership, Type of Member, Club Visitors and Guests, Committees, PHF etcetera. DG Mark ‘started me’ [and others] with it.
Mr Angerer suggested:  ‘Ross, I think you should say ‘I am not to blame and am only following Chris' orders’. He added ‘But always help others. Dial 1 – 800 – ROSS’ smiley
Be in good health, my regards,
District Governor Mark - Guest Speaker on 1 September
Our very own District Governor Mark Humphries and Rotarian PP Linda officially visited the Rotary Club of Mt Eliza via Zoom last night, Tuesday 2 September.
Thirty-two members attended the meeting (including Mark & Linda) together with Assistant Governor for the Peninsula Cluster, Peter Rawlings.
Using a powerpoint presentation Mark provided an update on District actions thus far and plans ahead for the remainder of the 2020/21 Rotary Year.
Building on this year's theme , Rotary Opens Opportunities, Mark emphasised that TOGETHER we see a world where PEOPLE unite and take action to CREATE lasting CHANGE across the globe in our communities and ourselves. 
Mark encouraged the Club to start planning for post lockdown activity. This was a timely call with our Club set to hold our Visioning Session on Tuesday, 15 September.
Our DG was also very please to announce that in the 2022/23 Rotary Year, the organisation will have our first female president, Canadian Rotarian Jennifer Jones. Jennifer will be the RI President when the annual convention is held in Melbourne.
Activities associated with the lead up to the celebration of 100 years of Rotary in Australia on 21 April next year were also expanded upon by Mark. In particular the relay baton and the Peninsula Cluster's Bay Trail project were areas of focus.
Turning to the work of Foundation, Mark encourages all Rotarians to participate and noted, with delight, that with Nigeria now being declared free of polio, all of Africa is now rid of that insidious disease.
Mark point out the traditional six areas of focus:
  • Peace and conflict prevention/ resolution
  • Disease prevention and treatment
  • Water and sanitation
  • Maternal and child health
  • Basic education and literacy
  • Economic and community development
He then informed members of a new seventh area - the Environment.
In this context, other District initiatives include a project on bees and revegetation of East Gippsland. 
Our DG praised the work of District Youth Director, Rob Cook. In particular  a Pathways program that Rob has mapped out.
There is still uncertainty about District Conference next year. Therefore two sets of plans are being worked upon - one for a virtual online version and one to be held at the Showgrounds. Both versions will be multi-District events.
Another District initiate is to encourage Clubs to upgrade Rotary signage. Mark wants us to "be proud and fix up our signs".
In terms of communications, Mark encouraged Rotarians to contribute to and read the "Knock Knock" District newsletter and the District 9820 YouTube Channel.
Linda unveiled her project - End Malaria in Vanuatu and foreshadowed a fund-raising cocktail party to be held later in the Rotary year.
AG Peter Rawlings provided members with an update on the Bay Trail project and discussions with the Mornington Peninsula Council.
Members enjoyed a most interesting evening. We thank Mark, Linda and Peter and wish them great success for the Rotary Year ahead.
Remember When - 50 Years of the RC Mt Eliza
Thanks to Honorary Member, Past President Reg Smith for the following fantastic set of memories:
"I joined Rotary in 1971 with the Chelsea Rotary Club and later was accepted into the Mt Eliza Club in 1978. If memory serves me right James Webb was President that year and we met at what was then John Hancocks Music Hall, now I think, a Vietnamese Restaurant.

I have thought of the many club events over the years and I recall the memoirs and anecdotes of an annual event organised by the late Harry Goodrich, a long time member on RCME.

Harry invited any and all club members to join him each year on his house boat at Eildon Dam for a bucks weekend (no women in Rotary then).  His house boat slept 12 and if more wanted to come he would arrange for a second houseboat.
The following attached photo depicts some still in the club and the 2 house boats tied side by side. It would have been the early 1980’s.

Some of us would bring their fishing boats, ski boats or yachts. Evenings after a BBQ would invariably be cards and much frivolity, with a great time had by all with many  humorous occasions.
Some will remember PP Dr Allan Eagle and  Dr Bill George,
Both out of character, loved playing practical jokes. 
Then there were the dedicated fishermen. Namely Jim Simpson and John Gilbert.
I remember Jim choosing a fishing lure from the many in his tackle box, explaining that the last time he he used it he caught a 4lb Trout on that lure in 1965 (“The mind boggles”).

Another occasion, at my expense but to Harry’s amusement, was when I offered to pay for the fuel in his house boat. He said okay and we proceeded to the fuel pump where Harry took great delight in watching my expressions as the pump didn’t want to stop. Apparently his tank had a 2000 litre capacity. ( He let me off the Hook!!!)

Another example of Harry’s generosity; he had a market garden in Cranbourne growing potatoes and cauliflowers (where Bunnings are located) and on a club vocational visit and meeting to his farm, the guest speaker was a crop dusting pilot who demonstrated his flying skills dusting Harry’s crop while we watched. When asked at question time “how do you know when you are low enough over the crop” the pilot answered “When I can feel the wheels slapping the potato tops”. And that’s what it looked like!
Thanks Reg for these great memories.
Further Recollections from Graham Reid
Graham was installed as the third President of the Rotary Club of Mt Eliza in 1973-74.
That year, among a number of projects and activities, members provided an adventure playground for a Special School at the request of Past President Stan Spencer.
That year the Club made a pictorial presentation of their early work projects and the Club won recognition from the then World President of Rotary International, William C Carter (Rotary Club of Battersea, London).
Graham remembers that when our Club was chartered in 1971, we were sponsored by the Rotary Club of Mornington. Over the years a strong bond has existed between the two Clubs.
As Graham recalls, key reasons for our Club's early success were undertaking "hands on" projects and a strong emphasis on fellowship. Members of the, then, all male Club enjoyed each other's company and a number of fellowship activities were undertaking involving the member's wives and families.
Members who joined Rotary in the early years had a clear understanding of the Object of Rotary and were committed to the organisation's associated Mission - The Mission of Rotary International is to provide service to others, promote integrity and advance world understanding, goodwill and peace through its fellowship of business, professional and community leaders. 
Thanks to Graham it is worthwhile reproducing the full Rotary Object, as follows:
The Object of Rotary is to encourage and foster the ideals of service as a basis of worthy enterprise and, in particular, to encourage and foster the following:
FIRST. The development of acquaintance as an opportunity for service;
SECOND. High ethical standards in business and professions,  the recognition of the worthiness of all useful occupations, and the dignifying of each Rotarian's occupation as an opportunity to serve society;
THIRD. The application of the ideal of service in each Rotarian's personal, business and community life;
FOURTH. The advancement of international understanding, goodwill and peace through a world fellowship of business and professional persons united inn the ideal of service.
Over the last fifty years, Rotarians of our Club have striven hard to achieve this object. It is timely to remind ourselves of the reasons for being and expectations of Rotarians.
Thank you Graham for such wonderful recollections.
Breaking news! - Standby for next week when John Gilbert puts pen to paper on his memories of our great Club. 
Laughter the Best Medicine - 1 September
A farm kid from the Kentucky hills joined the United States Marine Corp and after six weeks wrote the following letter home:
Dear Ma & Pa
I am well. Hope you are too.
Tell brother Elmer and brother Walt that the Marine Corps sure beats working for old man Finch by a mile. They should join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless for the first couple of weeks because you get to stay in bed until 5.00 am. But I am getting used to sleeping late. Tell Elmer and Walt all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine your shoes.
No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad - there's warm water if you can believe.
Breakfast is strong on the trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon and tomatoes. But there is no grits, chops, potatoes, fried eggplant, steak, pie or other regular food. But tell Elmer and Walt that you can always sit by some of the city boys. They never eat all of their food and you can always have their leftovers. They just seem to live on coffee.
Your food, plus theirs, holds you until noon when you get fed again! It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on "route marches" which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
The next bit will kill Elmer and Walt with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is as big as a chipmunk's head and it don't move. All you have to do is lie comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what's called hand to hand combat. You get to wrestle with the city boys. I have to be real careful cause they break so easily. It ain't like fighting old man Finch's bull. I'm about they best they got except for 'Tug" Jordan from Tennessee. I only beat him once. He joined up at the same time as met, but I'm only 5' 6" and 130 pounds while he is 6' 8' and nearly 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Elmer and Walt to hurry up and enlist before it's too late.
Your loving daughter,
Thanks to Rotarian Maurie Selth for this story:
Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never  pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.
As a piper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in 
the Nova Scotia back country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.  There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologised to the men for being late.
I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.  I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept  together. When I finished,  I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung 
low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years." 
Apparently, I'm still's a man thing.
Thanks to Rotarian Alex Anderson for this story:
Cleitus was so excited. He had finally convinced a member of the opposite sex to accompany him to the end of year college ball.
Betty had finally said yes and he was determined to make it a night to remember and decided to leave nothing to chance.
First up was the appropriate attire so he went downtown to the hire shop for a tuxedo. Everybody else in town had the same idea and the queue was right out the door. Frustrated but determined, Cleitus waited in line for half an hour before successfully arranging his suit hire and he then drove to the other side of town to get a corsage for his date. Again a very long queue greeted him and he had to line up for another half an hour to complete his purchase.
Next on the list was a limousine and lo and behold another queue and another half an hour wait in line to arrange that.
By now Cleitus was getting very sick of lining up in a queue but he was hoping that it would all be worth it.
The big day finally arrived and Cleitus arrived to pick up Betty resplendent in an immaculate tux and with a gorgeous corsage for her. 
He held open the door of the black limo and off they went to the ball.
Things were going very well with Betty and they talked and danced for a while before Betty asked for a glass of punch.
Cleitus sighed, just knowing that there was going to be a long queue for a drink but off he went to get the glass for his darling Betty.
But to his delight there was no punchline!
Thanks to Rotarian Ross Schweitzer for this story:
Two university students were traveling on a train.
As they passed one compartment, one student stopped. 
“Look. In there! I say! That’s the Archbishop of Canterbury.”
The other student looks, “No, don’t think so.”
“Want to bet?” 
Sure.” “Five pounds.”
“You’re on. Find out.”
So the first student slides open the door and asks, “Excuse me, sir, we were wondering, are you —
The old man roars, “Get out of my compartment, you filthy disgusting puke! Take your ratty face and your smelly friend and sod right off!” He then slams the compartment door.
The second student sighs: Huh. Now we’ll never know who won the bet.”
A punter had gone to the Mornington races and after four races had almost lost his shirt.
Just before the fifth race he noticed a priest step up to a horse in the mounting yard and bless the horse's forehead.
Taking this as an omen he placed his last $10 on the horse. Lo and behold, it won at long odds.
The punter started following the priest around and just before the sixth race he watched as the priest went up and blessed one of the horses.
The punter quickly put $20 on this horse and it duly came home first.
Excitedly the punter watched as the priest blessed another horse in the seventh race. Sure enough that horse, another long shot, won easily.
The punter quickly ran to an ATM and withdrew all of the money in his savings account. 
He then quickly returned to the mounting yard and waited for the priest as the horses came in for the eighth and last race of the day.
This time the priest went up to a horse and blessed its forehead, and its eyes, ears, legs and hooves.
The horse was another long shot.
Both elated and excited the punter raced to the nearest bookmaker and put every last cent that he had on the horse.
He watched dumbfounded as the old nag came in last.
In a state of shock he went up to the priest and confronted him, demanding to know what had happened.
"All day long", the punter said, "you blessed a horse in each race and it won."
"Then", he continued, "In the last race the horse that you blessed was flogged. Now, thanks to you, I've lost everything!"
The priest nodded wisely and with a little sympathy.
He then said, "Son, that the problem with you atheists, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the last rites!"
Meals from TOORAK
Orders are now being taken for Meals from Toorak College for Tuesday 8 September 2020.
These main meals are packaged in foil trays ready to reheat in the oven. This means that they can be eaten when you wish and not necessarily on the day of delivery.
The menu for week 6 (delivered on Tuesday 8 September) is: 
  • Individual cottage pie
  • Baked cauliflower
  • White chocolate and macadamia brownie
The cost of each meal is $15 and your can pay cash when delivered (preferred) or pay by credit card over the telephone.
It is requested that anyone who wishes to order the coming week's meal, delivered on Tuesday 8 September, email Jim Young by 11.30 am this Friday, 4 September. (
Kindly indicate the number of meals required.
Link for RCME Zoom Meetings
For the information of members  the following link should take you to our weekly Zoom meeting -
Alternatively, open the Zoom app and join meeting number 82650442487.
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P O Box 95 Mount Eliza 3930
We meet at 6:00 PM Every Tuesday at Toorak College