During a lesson on adjectives a teacher at Mt Eliza Primary School asked her class to describe their grandmothers. She explained that adjectives are describing words.
Little Johnny came out and said, "My grandmother is beautiful. She wears pretty clothes, always has a glowing smile and she has auburn hair."
The teacher was very impressed, especially with the use of the word auburn.
She asked Johnny, "How do you know that your grandmother's hair is auburn?"
He replied, "Well, that what is said on the box!"
The local church run retirement village was in uproar. Good Friday was approaching and each year on that holy day, old Jenkins, who was agnostic, took out his BBQ and cooked steaks.
The other residents were outraged that he would eat meat on this sacred day.
They complained to the Village Chaplin who took matters in hand. He went around to see Jenkins and had a lengthy conversation, explaining that he was getting on in life and that one day soon he could have a lot of explaining to do when he met his maker. He specifically explained that he should eat fish on Good Friday.
After several more visits Jenkins was convinced to be baptised. The whole village turned up at the church on Palm Sunday before Easter to see the Christening.
The Minister sprinkled holy water on his forehead and said, "You were born innocent, you were not raised in Christ, however you are now a Christian."
At lunchtime on Good Friday the villagers were astounded when Jenkins fired up his barbecue and threw on a steak.
They watched in amazement as he sprinkled some water on it and said, "You were born a cow, you were made into steak and now you are a fish!"
