The Rotary Club of
Mount Eliza
Chartered 1971
Club Information
Mount Eliza
Service Above Self
We meet Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
Mt Eliza
Mount Eliza, VIC 3930
0419 386 900
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May 26, 2020
Jun 02, 2020
Origins of Life - Are they at the bottom of the ocean?
Jun 09, 2020
Kokoda Trail in PNG
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Upcoming Events
Board Meeting
Jun 11, 2020
District Changeover
Jun 27, 2020
5:00 PM – 8:00 PM
RCME Changeover
Jun 30, 2020
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Meeting Responsibilities
Meeting Responsibilities 26 May
Three Minute Speaker
Heron, Neil
Selth, Maurie
Meeting Responsibilities 2 June
Three Minute Speaker
Vincent, Rhonda
Falkiner, Hanne
Meeting Responsibilities 9 June
Three Minute Speaker
Weber, Michael
Voss, Sue
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President's Message
Ross Schweitzer
member photo
The thoughts of President Ross
And now.... from last week [reprise]
Norman the Dachshund is the correct answer. It took no lesser a Person than Chris Angerer to analyze the logic and indeed to provide beeindruckende fotografische historische Beweise. In the form of a non - Photoshopped daguerrotype. A bottle of my second - finest plonk, to be imbibed in his glasses at his office is the prize. Well done.
Now to matters in the Present:

People in the Village not getting COVID - 19.
I was sitting juxtaposed to Boys on Seats; they were doing a splendid trade. I asked if their clientele were socially distancing. Seemed to be 1.45 metres apart. But that would be splitting hairs. Actually, Mark Humphries was there! He had rabbits on his head, claiming that from a distance they look like .... hares. [sic.]
But I digress. As you know, from Evelyn's Birthday, we can congregate in numbers not exceeding ten people. Then, from Monday  June 22, groups of "up to" 50. These are 'weasel words' by Big Ears Andrews. Why? It is not 50 people in addition to the 'primary 20' who are in fact only 15 more than the prior 5. He studiously ignores the first 20 who are presumably safe, and should be permitted in addition.
Last week, a prescient Immediate Past President stated to me that 'We could get back to Toorak at this rate; with 'some' on ZOOM'.
Because, prima facie, we can have 50 people 'somewhere', we are now presented with some options for The Changeover. At the very least..... we can have the outgoing and incoming boards, partners as applicable / if you still have one, the DG -E at a venue. Later in the Year, and - or at our Christmas Party WE the NEW President and accolytes who are still not in hiding, can hold a celebration of the type P - E Sue truly deserves ...... think along the lines of Mount Olympus, the Torch - lighting Ceremony.
Sooo, for all those Members who did not contribute to / participate in, my COVID - 19 Programs; you can now safely have 2 Cents worth about The ChangeoverDo not worry about the outcome;  P - E Sue, by precedent, gets to decide. So you don't need to beg off. wink
It will happen. I guarantee it ... 'the arrow has already left the bow' trust me.

Da Prez
District Governor Elect Mark Humphries
DG elect Mark is busy on a plethora of Rotary issues and we are repeating his call for Club members to consider attending this year's Rotary International Convention (Ed)
Have you ever attended a Rotary International Convention? Have you ever wanted to attend a Rotary International Convention?
You now have an opportunity to attend convention from the comfort of your own home and for FREE yes you saw that correctly FREE! This is going to be amazing. Talk about Rotary Open Opportunities.
Details are only just coming out. It will be online, we are now all use to using online technology so it will be a no brainer. Lets all get involved and lets all attend.
Rotary Conventions are an amazing experience, I have attended two conventions now and each time I come out re-invigorated and astounded at the involvement Rotary has in our communities.
Keep an eye open at the Rotary Convention website for more details.
Mark & Linda
Guest Speaker - Dr Georgina Such
We have 29 participants at this week's Zoom meeting - our guest speaker and 28 Rotarians.
Our guest speaker on Tuesday 19 May was Dr Georgina Such, Senior Lecturer in the School of Chemistry at The University of Melbourne.
Georgina is the daughter of our Fund-raising Director Rotarian Carolyn Such and her father is Rotarian Chris Such from the Rotary Club of Somerville-Tyabb.
Georgina spoke about her role in the Chemistry Department in the Science Faculty at the University and then focussed on her research work into polymers.
Polymers are materials made of long, repeating chains of molecules. Polymers occur naturally and are also made artificially. Polymers make up so much of the world that we know today.
It was amazing to hear Georgina talk about contact lenses. Developed in the 1880's contact lenses were originally made of glass. In 1960, plastic contact lenses were developed. Today soft flexible contact lenses are available thanks to the polymers used in their manufacture.
One particularly interesting aspect of her talk was about the use and potential of polymers as antimicrobial drugs.
Many of our current pharmaceutical drugs are becoming resistant to microbes. This is the biggest threat to our healthcare system. Currently over 700,000 people die worldwide as a result of ineffective antibiotic drugs . In 2014, it was estimated that 3.3% of tuberculosis cases were multi drug resistant. By 2050 this is estimated to rise to 10 million.
With an enormous cost to our health system,  the financial implications of treatment and antibiotics failing to prevent infection, the world could be facing a catastotrophe. However, antimicrobial polymers have the ability to stop the growth of microorganisms such as bacteria and offer a way forward to protect the health of people. 
In addition to her work as a research academic, Georgina also has other responsibilities at the University. Recently she was appointed as the Associate Dean responsible for Diversity & Inclusion in the Science Faculty at The University of Melbourne.
Members were delighted to have been able to have heard such a fascinating talk from a person totally on top of her subject. 
For Bike riders, climbers and shopping with Friends
Yesterday I was dealing with an electrician who did not seem to know that he had entered 60 Rannoch Avenue instead of 20 ......... into his Google earth view. There is no number 60, God knows what house he was looking at ..... He'd been here before. surprise He was wanting to count the solar panels on our roof.
He said, 'Oh, there are eleven'.  Um, try  T W E L V E...... read on
Well, you see, as the Welsh are alleged to say.... I had 'stepped' said electrician through directions; turn LEFT into Rannoch Avenue from Canadian Bay Road - you can't turn right, as you then proceed, keep Ravenscourt Avenue on your left etc..... [um, I'm not in the right place, I've entered 60].
Now, people 'like' Sue Voss and Ross Kilborn and Neil Heron who are energetic and climb mountains and / or ride bicycles with or without Lycra, [but not naked, I mean] and others who tend to put themselves in Harm's way ... plus people who have trouble following directions like: I'm outside 'NIKE' /  'RM WILLIAMS at GALLERIA...  'yes but they have in Nike's case THREE locations there' .. Or, which coffee shop did you say, again?
Consider what3words an 'App' available on iOS and Android. It 'divides' the World into 59? billion 3 - metre x 3 - metre squares, each with its unique three word location.
You have to download it and try it to see how incredible it is. Even I can use it. You can even send your home location to a Tradie....... In today's news there is related a story about a rock climber in some God - forbidden place off Tasmania, broke leg in two places [mine was 7!] etcetera. The "app' only needs mobile signal [not satellite GPS] to enable SMS transmission.You can store your own address for Emergency Services, liquor stores / Rotary Good Samaritan deliveries....
It does not locate golf balls, unless your ball has the 'App' but that would make it non - conforming.
Laughter The Best Medicine - 19 May
In the 1920's in rural America, Fred and his wife Edna went to the Sate Fair every year.
Each year Fred would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."
And every year Edna would say, "I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars.
In 1928 Fred and Edna again went to the Fair and Fred said, "Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride in that airplane this year I may never get another chance."
Edna replied, "Fred, that airplane costs ten dollars for a ride and ten dollars is ten dollars!"
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you remain quiet for the entire trip and do not say one word you can fly for free. However, if you say one even one word the cost is ten dollars.
Fred and Edna agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all types of twists, turns, dives and barrel rolls. Not a word was heard.
He did all of his tricks a second time however again not a word was spoken.
The pilot landed the plane and he said to Fred, "By golly, I did everything that I could to get you to yell out however there was nothing."
Fred replied, "Well, I was going to say something when Edna fell out of the airplane, but ten dollars is ten dollars!"
Two old codgers took their wives along to a ladies evening at an exclusive Melbourne Club.
They chose the Club's speciality from the menu - a thick blue boiler pea soup made with lashings of ham from the bone.
An hour later while they were enjoying port and cheese the inevitable happened .
One of the gentleman emitted a sound from his nether regions which is best described as a massive breaking of wind.
"I say, old boy," said his startled Club mate, "not in front of my wife."
The deadpan, but contrite reply came, "Oh, terribly sorry, old chap, I wasn't aware that it was her turn."
During the Queen's second visit to Australia in the 1950's she was taken to see a football match between the Melbourne Demons and the Essendon Bombers.
At half time she was introduced to the players.
Her Majesty had been very impressed by one of the Essendon player's long drop kicks that were travelling over 60 metres.
She asked the boy who was from Dimboola, "How did you learn to kick the ball so far?"
"Ah, jeez", he replied, "when I was knee high to a grass hopper, I learned how to kick bloody Mallee roots over 50 metres."
The Essendon President who was standing next to the Queen quickly said, "I say, that a bit strong."
The young lad was a little embarrassed and he replied, "Ah well, bloody forty metres then!"
An Irishman took up golf. However he wasn't very good at the game and his lack of success was most frustrating.
One day as he went to the practice fairway a leprechaun appeared and said, "I'll help you to become a champion golfer however you will have to give up your sex life."
The golfer agreed. 
After a month's training and following the leprechaun's advice his game dramatically improved.
Within two months he was champion of the Club and three months after that he won the Irish Amateur.
The leprechaun came back and said, "I have kept my part of the bargain and now it's your turn to pay. Remember from this day forward you are not allowed to have sex."
The golfer nodded and the leprechaun said, "I'm just going to record our deal in my diary. What's your name?"
The golfer smiled and replied, "Father O'Flaherty!"
Tarzan came home exhausted. He flopped down on the couch and said to Jane, "It's a jungle out there!"
What do you call a multi-millionaire driving through a working class suburb?
Golf Is Back
Rotarian Alex Anderson and a number of other Club members who have been suffering from golf deprivation are all smiles now that golf is being allowed.
Thanks to Alex for the following cartoons:
"Crackers" Three Minute talk - Living with COVID-19
Rotarian Rob Cracknell was our three minute speaker, on the topic of Living with and Life After COVID-19, at our Zoom meeting on 12 May.  
The following is a text of "Crackers" speech: 
So here we are almost two months after what is now looking like a highly successful containment of a potentially devastating viral attack on what we used to call “normal” life.  This unique situation – well in our time anyway - has asked many questions of how we live our lives, and I would like to offer a few thoughts.
Most importantly, this thing is a long way from being over.  The lockdown approach that we have adopted, whilst highly successful, has left us with minimal immunity to the disease so until a vaccine is readily available we will have to remain vigilant.  The recent outbreaks at Cedar Meats in Brooklyn (which today reached 85 cases associated with the abattoir), the Newmarch House Nursing home in Sydney’s West where 16 elderly residents have now died (out of a total of 98 nationally), the Hospitals in NW Tasmania, and the most vivid example, the Ruby Princess cruise ship that docked in Sydney and now has accounted for around 10% of Australia’s entire log of positive cases, serve as a stark reminder of just how virulent this virus can be.
My personal situation, I have been surprised how easily I have adapted to the restrictions – with the possible exception of not being able to play golf – an indefensible decision given that exercise was one of the key allowances from the outset!  I have lost weight (notwithstanding significant grog consumption – but that is for another day) mainly attributable I believe to lots of home cooking and a conscious effort to eat less and eat better.  Late breakfasts that become brunch then an earlier-than-previous dinner with chicken, fish, and lean meats with lots of vegetables and less carbs!  I have kept up the exercise with walking – mainly around Mt Eliza but occasional escapes to Overport Park, the Mt Eliza Quarry Park, and the Beleura Hill area.
What about my mental health – maybe not all would agree but Robyn and I have retained our sanity by regular contact with friends and family via Zoom, Skype, WhatsApp etc.  I have been a keen user of Zoom for several years now, since I was President of the Cereals and Grains Association which is based in Minneapolis, USA.  We held monthly Board meetings and having a reliable platform like Zoom transformed their value.  I see this as a major change as businesses will stop flying their executives around the World for meetings that can be held via teleconference.  I guess that could mean that air travel could develop more of a tourism leaning than ever before.    
What will be the outcomes? 
The main issue in my view will be the economic fallout.  The incomprehensible amounts of money that governments around the globe have borrowed in order to support those out of work are mind-boggling and will weigh heavily on future generations.  Getting budgets “back in the black” will be a distant dream that governments will struggle with. 
As a retired couple we are spending less than half of what we did previously with no dining out or entertainment, no travel, not even interstate, and no car racing, providing an insight into what life will be like if we are fortunate enough to reach really old age! 
People will become aware of what they have saved by not driving their cars, and more fuel-efficient, hybrid or dare I say it - electric vehicles will be even more popular than they were prior to the pandemic.  
When will we be able to travel again?   Domestically that will be quite soon, although the Queensland border could be restricted until early July and as for International travel, who knows?  With the likely exception of New Zealand and maybe some Asian destinations that can demonstrate that they have the virus fully under control, we will be unable to travel to anywhere, or more correctly, will be unable to return without going through a quarantine period.  Similarly our borders will remain closed to International visitors for a long time.
So, as I see it – we have escaped the worst but it will be a while before life returns to anything like we used to call “normal”.  Social distancing will have to be observed for the foreseeable future, no crowds at sporting events, golf in pairs, no sharing of carts or equipment, temperature testing at airports, workplaces, restaurants, will the ski fields open this year – doesn’t look too promising, and whilst we are hopefully over the worst, things don’t look like they will be returning to the old “pre-pandemic normal” for some while, if ever.  
This Week's Conundrum
Can you work out a 9 letter word from the jumbled letters below?
If you have time, how many other words with four plus letters can you make from these nine letters?
L  E  G  C  A  E  L  N  H
Answer next week
Last week's solution -
F  L  I  U  N  A  G  L  Y  = GAINFULLY
Living with COVID-19
It is remarkable how quickly people have been able to develop ways of laughing in spite of self-isolation.
Here are this week's  selections:
Five Question Quiz
The answers to last week's Five Question Quiz were:
1. What is the Icelandic delicacy Hakari?  A Whale intestines  B  Cod livers  C Fish eyes  D Fermented shark
2. The movie The Shawshank Redemption was adapted from a novella by which author?  A Stephen King  B John Steinbeck  C Norman Mailer  D Philip Roth
3. The French wine Chablis is made from which grape?  A Chardonnay  B Sauvignon Blanc  C Chenin Blanc  D Pinot Gris
4. Who is the Butler to Lord Grantham in Downton Abbey?  A William Mason  B Charles Carson  C Thomas Barrow  D James Kent
5.What was the surname of the Benedictine Monk who established many of the principles and processes of champagne production?  A Chandon  B Bollinger  C Perignon  D Moet
This week's five questions are:
1. Which was Jane Austen's first novel?  A Pride and Prejudice  B Sense and Sensibility  C Northhanger Abbey  D Emma
2. What is the name of the variety of sushi which features the rice on the outside?  A Temaki  B Sashimi  C Uramaki  D Nigiri
3. Shiny, red-lacquered soles are the signature look of which designer's footwear?  A Jimmy Choo  B Manolo Blahnik  C Christian Louboutin  D Bruno Magli
4. Perigord and Terfezia Boudieri are varieties of which food?  A Asparagus  B Truffle  C Mushroom  D Tomato
5. Who said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted?"  A. Noel Coward  B Oscar Wilde  C Charlie Chaplin  D Stan Laurel
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P O Box 95 Mount Eliza 3930
We meet at 6:00 PM Every Tuesday at Toorak College