Golf’s a hard game to figure. One day you’ll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps, and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work… and both are expensive.

What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars?
Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.

Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of trousers with them?
In case they get a hole in one.

And to finish off - an oldie but a goodie

Two golfers are ready to play on the 11th tee as a funeral cortege passes by. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes.
“That was a really nice thing to do,” the second golfer says. “It’s good to see there is still some respect in the world.” "Well, it’s only right,” the first golfer replies. “I was married to her for 35 years.”